From the Wave...

Mary Aldenisms:

I hope to start tracking some of the stuff Mary Alden says that I find particularly funny or insightful, or just cute. Please feel free to add any stories/comments re: Mary Alden you want to document:

"Hey...his name is Happy...and I am happy!"

"People say I am a chatterbox, but I don't think I am a chatterbox. I mean, I like to talk, but that does not mean I am a chatterbox. I don't think knock knock jokes are that funny..."(Rosemary finish/correct this quote)

Lady in the store: "it's for the baby in my tummy"
Mary Alden (looking disgusted): "your tummy? you mean your belly?"
Lady: "yeah, my tummy"
Mary Alden (still looking digusted): "how did it get from your uterus to your belly?"




Nov 17, 2009

Me:
Mary Alden: "Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom"
Me: "We are almost there, try to hold it"
Mary Alden: "Sing me a song to help"
Me: "What do you want me to sing about?"
Mary Alden "Buildings"
Me: "What about them"
Mary Alden: "They are big"
Me: "..and what else?"
Mary Alden: "They have bathrooms"
Nov 19, 2009

Rebecca:
when visiting with mckenzie for her 5th birthday.

mckenzie (to me): why is your house so fancy?
me: i don't think i'd call it fancy
mckenzie: well it is
mary alden: don't you think their house looks italian, mckenzie?
Nov 20, 2009

Me:
Mary Alden's class donates money every year to a cause chosen by the children. Her teacher said the kids always give to animals (we have a small local zoo)...this is the first year in a long time that they have not...this year they will be giving to 4 causes. Mary Alden suggested one of the causes, and it had the proper support. But the meat of this story rests on Mary Alden's suggestion. Please note Ben is her teacher's son.

Mary Alden's suggestion:

I think we should give it to homeless people, but I really think we should give it to people at the school who are poor and don't have any money, like Ben.
Nov 20, 2009

Rebecca:
LOL. does Ben not have money?
Nov 20, 2009

Me:
I don't know the guy, but Rosemary says he does not...he is like a typical slacker Athens townie type...when Johnny (MA's teacher) told him (Ben) what she said, Ben said "that's my girl"
Nov 20, 2009

Rebecca:
how old is Ben? when you said her teacher's son, i'm thinking someone her age...
Nov 20, 2009

Me:
oh, he is in his 20s or so...I don't exactly...he works at the school doing something.
Nov 20, 2009

Rebecca:
okay that makes it funnier. because i was thinking originally it might be a kid who might be poor and i felt slightly nervous... but a slacker 20 yo... hillarious.
Nov 20, 2009

Me:
she calls em like she sees em.
Nov 20, 2009

AWolf:
Pretty funny stuff. That Mary Alden...I like how she called mom with a list of friends who wanted a snuffle bunny and she told her what colors they wanted and all...pimpin mom out!
Nov 21, 2009

Me:
Mary Alden: I think I am going to sleep with mom
Me: Why?
Mary Alden: You know the thing you do with your arm while you sleep (putting it over my head), that kinda annoys me.
Nov 22, 2009

Rebecca:
heh heh heh...
Nov 21, 2009

Me:
Mary Alden: That building looks like a church
Me: It is a church, how did you know?
Mary Alden: Well, to me, churches look kind of God-ish
Nov 23, 2009

Maryalice:
I asked her why people drive so slow and she said maybe they think God wants them to, even if they don't believe in God.
Nov 24, 2009

Maryalice:
Mary Alden asked me if we owned the dairy, and i told her, well, we own a part of it. She wanted to know which part, on our tour, and each section we went in, she would say, this part? Later I think she decided she wanted to own the ice cream section.
Nov 26, 2009

Me:
....Fa la la la la la la la la
don we now our days of peril
fa la la la la la la la la
Dec 5, 2009

Me:
Daddy, you are cuter than a man who is fat...and you know that guys who are fat are really cute.
Dec 5, 2009

Rebecca:
LOLOL.. oh that's fantastic.
Dec 6, 2009

AWolf:
that is funny!!
Feb 11

Me:

Mary Alden to me: Do you have facebook?
Dec 8, 2009

Me:

Dec 14, 2009

Nathan:
Awesome!
Dec 8, 2009

Me:
Parkour.
Dec 8, 2009

Me:
Parkour Wiki
Dec 22, 2009

Me:
While at a wal-mart - "Look at this place, mom...does it look like it has sparkling water?"
Dec 23, 2009

Rebecca:
does that imply a no? because that is hillarious!
Dec 23, 2009

Me:
totally, she was ready to go and Rosemary was like, let's see if they have sparking water - so we don't have to make an extra stop.
Dec 24, 2009

Me:
"Daddy, I thought this was baby Jesus, but his real name is 'Penis Boy'"
Dec 25, 2009

Rebecca:
i need more background on this one... who is penis boy?
Dec 26, 2009

Me:
Just a random naked baby Rachel had lying around :)
Dec 25, 2009

Rosemary:
opening a gift..."Ohhh, bubble wrap! i love bubble wrap!"
Jan 15

Me:
While watching a movie.

Me: Ewwww, kissing
Mary Alden: I think it's lovely
Jan 15

Me:
Rosemary had been tickling her for a while, and had finally taken a break, then started back, and Mary Alden said:

I wanted the opposite of that but with a please.
Feb 12

Me:
MA while throwing trash into my office trashcan (which has a basketball goal over it)...

"She scores!!!!"
Feb 14

AWolf:
cute :)
Feb 15

Me:



My Valentine's Card from Mary Alden.jpg

This is a picture of Mary Alden thinking of Me (I have my glasses on)...she wrote her name underneath...
Feb 22

AWolf:
super cute!!
Feb 15

Nathan:
Awesome! She's gettin' good....
Feb 19

Me:
Mary Alden to Rosemary:

"If you followed a rainbow to the end, you will find a pot of gold and a leprechaun. The leprechaun will give you 2 options, take the gold, or he can show you to another rainbow. If you follow the second rainbow to the end, you will find another leprechaun and he will give you 2 options, take this pot of gold or he will show you another rainbow. If you follow the next rainbow, you will find another leprechaun who will give you everything you want...which one would you choose?...I would chose the first pot of gold, because if I got everything I wanted, I would be spoiled, but if I had the pot of gold I could have everything I need."
Feb 22

AWolf:
adorable!
Feb 22

Me:
Mary Alden - while eating Cool Ranch Dorito's

"These taste like rotten bird poop"
Feb 25


Me and Rosemary:
This one is about Mary Alden.

Apparently one of the Primary Teachers (MA will be in a Primary class room next year) got wind that they were recommending Mary Alden go to another class room. The teacher called Mary Alden's current teacher Sunday night.

She was apparently VERY upset that Mary Alden was not going to be in her class, as she had planned a lot of activities specifically for Mary Alden...and she wanted to be in the running...so she is going to meet with Mary Alden's reading teacher and the other teachers to plead her case...

Update: She will be getting into this lady's class (the Stars). Rosemary met with the school's director about it, and he said it was very rare that he had the issue of multiple teachers wanting a child for their class...he deferred to Rosemary's judgement. Rosemary had wanted MA to be in the Stars class, but some other teachers recommended another class. In the end, we think it will be great, as the Stars class is more geared towards MAs preferences...and Rosemary thinks the Stars teachers will work with MA on the structure stuff too.

Update 2: Mary Alden's dentist's receptionist (Cody) is friends with one of Mary Alden's Teacher (Dana)...Cody told Rosemary that Dana apparently has her own ideas on where Mary Alden should go...one of which involves Mary Alden not leaving the Yellow Room (her current class). The reason is that Dana feels the Yellow Class will lose some of its fame if Mary Alden leaves.

Rosemary can correct this, but I believe she said something about Mary Alden being the heart of the school. Cody backed it up to say that Mary Alden is the heart of their dental practice.

Update 3: Mary Alden's Girl Scout troop leader is the after school teacher. She told me today that she has heard about the "Mary Alden Controversies." So, to correct Corey, MA is in the primary class now, and we were trying to decide where she would move for the "Lower Elementary" years (grades 1-3). There are three choices, and alll three lead teachers feel like they have really connected with MA on a deep level and all three have been making plans for MA to be in their classes next year. Ultitmately, we are going with Maggie and Susan in the Stars classroom because I feel the strongest connect with them. But it is cute to know that the other teachers are fighting over MA.
Feb 25

Me:
In continued Dental news, apparently Mary Alden is the only child allowed to talk to other patients in the dental office. She has achieved this honor because she calms the other patients, especially the older patients.

Yesterday she apparently had an interaction with an older lady (in her sixties)...

Mary Alden "Have you put on the elephant mask yet? When you do, you will be disconnected from the pain. The pain will still be there, but you won't care about it"
Mar 2

Me:



IMG_3550.JPG

I could not get a good pic of this...but we made a shirt with a picture of Mary Alden pointing and looking up....it is cute on her.
Mar 2

Me:



Scan_Pic0002.jpg

Mar 5

Nathan:
Did she sign that herself??? Tres impressive,
Mar 6

Me:
I think she traced it.
if so!
Mar 6

Me:

Mary Alden: I need mom to help
Me: Help what?
Mary Alden: I need her to tie this dress, then I need to get my crown and necklace situated.
Mar 6

Me:
Mary Alden: Daddy, I have something to tell you
Me: I hope it is that you love me
Mary Alden: Well, that's half of it...

(I don't remember what she said, but it was clear that she did not originally plan on telling me she loved me...I thought it was extremely witty of her to play it off)
Mar 7

Me:
Mary Alden: Could you guys be quieter
Rosemary: mommy and daddy are communicating
Mary Alden: then communicate by phone.
Mar 16

Me:
Mary Alden: Dresses are just night gowns you wear during the day.
Mar 21

Me:



Chef being born in a peanut.jpg

Mar 24

Rebecca:
fabulous.
Mar 21

Me:



knuffle bunny.jpg

Mar 24

Me:



Sick Day Knuffle Bunny Pic.jpg

Mar 24

Rebecca:
how'd she get so good at drawing the knuffle bunny??
Mar 27

Me:
Rosemary liked the haircut of a barista where we get coffee. She asked her who did it, and subsequently made an appointment to get her hair cut.

While there, the stylist had made a few references to her best friend. After a while, Rosemary was talking about Mary Alden and said her name and the stylist was like..."Wait...you are not the mother of Mary Alden with red hair that goes to Athens Montessori..."

Rosemary said she was. Turns out the stylists best friend used to work at Athens Montessori and would always tell her stories about Mary Alden, then her and her friend saw Mary Alden one day when MA was coming out of art lessons.

It is so interesting to learn of Mary Alden's celebrity in this town...I mean, we see it all the time, but it just keeps getting brought to our attention. My friend Cameron and I joke that I need not share my name anymore, my new moniker is Mary Alden's dad.
Mar 28

Rebecca:
and this will likely be in any town you go to. the kid's just got that kind of charm.

but LOL at the thought of introducing yourself like that - it has that dr. laura feel to it, "i'm my kid's mother."
Mar 29

Me:
Mary Alden was playing alone, then called Rosemary to be her first customer at her Ice Cream Stand.

After playing a bit, Rosemary asked MA if she had come up with the idea...MA said, "Yeah, first I was doing it near the barbecue pit, then with the dog food - also, we need more dog food- then I did the ice cream stand"

I thought it was great that she was informing us that we need more dog food while explaining her imaginary series of stores.

We eventually sold the ice cream stand and started a pizza shop (pizza for dinner).
Mar 31

Me:
Since Rosemary is a complete slackass on this...I am going to give it a shot...

We were having a brunch/play date with another family and the mom was talking to Rosemary about their little boy being scared of monsters (or something like that) and Mary Alden volunteered that she used to be scared of monsters, but she just spent one night telling herself there was no such thing as monsters over and over until she believed it and she hasn't been scared since.

Forest's mom, Shari, suggested Mary Alden tell Forest that, as it might help...so MA tells him, but finishes with "I am still scared of other things, like if someone dresses up to look like my parents, but is bad..."

At least she is moving him toward the world of slightly more realistic fears.
Apr 3

Me:
Easter 2010

Mary Alden wanted some paper to make something for the Easter Bunny. She put it in an envelope and sealed it, then had me write the note on the envelope. She wanted to mail it, but we refused to give her a stamp, so she drew the stamp, which was her, holding an easter basket, with a golden egg in it.

While she was making the "something" for the easter bunny, she also asked us for some money.

After she went to bed, we opened the letter...following are pics of its contents.
Apr 3

Me:



Mary Alden's Easter Letter0001.jpg



Easter0001.jpg



easter 20001.jpg



easter30001.jpg



easter30002.jpg

Apr 3

Me:
So, she drew the Easter Bunny a picture, signed her name (initials), then dropped $2.50, because you can never be too sure.
Apr 5

Me:
While running to get the plastic balls for the tunnel playroom system Nick got her for her birthday a few years ago...

"Let's get ballsy"
Apr 5

Me:
"Dada, when I grow up I want to be a little like you...and a little like mom, and a lot like myself."
Apr 5

Me:
"it's just an expression" (I don't recall the expression she used)
Apr 5

Me:
Rosemary is leaving for Montreal and is a little anxious about being gone for several days...below is the list of things Mary Alden told her to help reduce her anxiety:

- We can send each other letters and call each other and text each other
- You will get to make new friends
- You will get to see Paw Paw Dan and Grandma Rachel
- You won't have to smell Daddy's stinky farts

Apr 5

Rebecca:
LOL. Ain't that the truth!
Apr 5

AWolf:
last one is golden :)
Apr 5

Rosemary:
Mary Alden: You know, Leela walks on her tip toes all the time. She thinks that will make her a lady.
me: oh, that's funny.
Mary Alden: Except, I don't want to be a lady. I want to be a woman.
me: Oh, why? What's the difference between a lady and a woman?
Mary Alden: Well, I told her, that the word lady has been misused and abused (Yes, she used those words) throughout history. A woman had goals for herself and a lady just has goals for other people.
me: Wow. Who taught you that.
Mary Alden: You did.



Apr 6

Me:
addendum:

Mary Alden: You know, the funny thing is, Ms. Hannigan is a woman...because her goals are just for herself.
Apr 6

Me:
Watching a Dreamworks movie, the opening scene, the boy is sitting on the moon fishing (Dreamworks logo)...

Mary Alden: That is impossible.
Me: What?
MA: That is impossible, he is sitting on the crescent, but it is not really a crescent, the other part is just dark.

Later, when I asked her to tell Rosemary:

MA: Well, first, it was impossible because he did not have a spacesuit on, but second the moon is not really a crescent, it just looks that way.
Apr 6

AWolf:
She is just too smart!!!
Apr 7

Me:
This is older, but I wanted to store it here

Yellow Class Play

It is funny because this is stored on Picasa...strange that wave can get youtube videos to play, but not picasa...
Apr 8

Me:
Randomly when driving in the car yesterday

"Daddy, your mom is beautiful"
May 1

Me:
singing an adaptation of "We Will Rock You" by Queen that includes the lines: "Eat you up for dinner, hope you like that"

"This song is ironic...because you know that they won't like that"
May 1

Me:
When discussing taking dance again:

Mary Alden: Can I take Irish dancing?
Rosemary: Not this year
Mary Alden: But I really want to be a famous Irish dancer.
May 14

Me:
Mary Alden: If you had a fire, and named it Derrick, then you could walk up to it and say "Derrick, you're hot"
May 27

Me:
Rosemary should expand on this, but Mary Alden went to her first Swim Team lesson/practice yesterday and was apparently AWESOME!

She was placed with the 8-9 year old kids and was keeping pace with them. Her friends (7-8 year olds) were swimming 2 groups down from her!

May 28

Rebecca:
cool! she's always liked the water.
May 27

Maryalice:
Surprising but not surprising. she is amazing and such a fun kid! we enjoyed her so much last week!
Jul 25

Me:
Mary Alden has a game called Ticket to Read...Rosemary was asking her if she wanted to play it and she said no. So I started singing, She's got a ticket to Ride, swapping Ride for Read...then I told her it was a real song, but it is called Ticket to Ride...then I sang it again with the right lyrics and Mary Alden said "I'll swap with her" (meaning swap tickets).
Jul 25

Me:
Mary Alden likes cracker sandwiches, which consist of frenchbread hamburger buns filled with saltines.